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10
Jul
Keeping up with our promise to feature a new author from the recently published anthology Confessions: Fact or Fiction? we have posted another author feature this week. We hope you enjoy reading about this talented writer, and again we challenge you to guess whether her piece (excerpt posted below) is fiction or fact…and we’d love to hear why!
This week’s featured author is …..
Amy Fries
Amy Fries is a writer and editor working in Northern Virginia. She is a blogger for PsychologyToday.com and the author of Daydreams at Work (Capital Books, 2009). Amy received an M.A. in Writing from Johns Hopkins University.
Losing My Religion
At some point, I quit believing in the religion of my birth. In religion, period. A break that left my parents feeling scorned and rejected. “What did we do wrong?” my mother still asks. “It’s-not-you-it’s-me,” I defend myself with that old but true standby. After all, faith cannot be faked.
Time and again, when I try to pinpoint the beginnings of my long struggle between doubt and faith, I find myself back in Sister Anna Marie’s piano room in the convent of the Blessed Sacrament, the room with the green vinyl couch, the brown-and-white checkered asbestos-tile floor, the walls barren, except of course, for the omnipresent 3-D crucifix. No sleek modern symbols here. This was the body of Christ, nailed in twisted pain onto the cross. The room reeked with the stench of a disinfectant that novice nuns regularly swabbed all over the convent. The decor, I’m sure, was supposed to inspire quiet reflection, but for me, it inspired terror, terror of falling short of the judgment of Sister Anna Marie.
But the most outstanding piece in the room was the piano itself. Plastic wrap covered the entire upright except for the keys. That way Sister Anna Marie could protect it from the grubby fingerprints of her halfhearted charges.
I had taken lessons from Sister Anna Marie, from 1968 through 1972, third grade through the eighth. She looked ancient to me back then, though she was probably only in her seventies. She was tall and lean. Bits of gray hair poked out along the edges of her wimple. Vatican II, the document freeing Catholics from the mysteries of Latin and black cloth among others, had occurred in the mid-sixties, and nuns were free to doff the head-to-toe garb. But not Sister Anna Marie. She was too old, I suppose, to change her habits. So she remained with the starched white wimple pinched about her face.
Sister Anna Marie was a dictatorial terror, hovering over the metronome that clicked, clicked, clicked away the nanoseconds of my half-hour lessons. If I failed to tinkle the ivories to the beat, her hands would clap in my face, her foot would stomp on the linoleum until my heartbeat, the metronome, the clapping, and the chords melted into one monstrous internal melody.
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Day…Strictly speaking this is day 12, maybe 13, but…
R. Dean Johnson lives in Kentucky with his wife, the writer Julie Hensley, and their son. He is an assistant professor in the Brief-Residency MFA Program at Eastern Kentucky University. His essays and stories have appeared in, among others, Juked, Natural Bridge, New Orleans Review, Slice, and The Southern Review. “Catching Atoms” originally appeared, in a slightly different version, in Ruminate.


The events of that day and the images I have stored in my brain will eventually make it into my writing…will let you know when that happens. Meantime, stay tuned for more blog posts! J


