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-from Chrysalis Editorial

“How Straight Spouses Cope When Their Partners Come Out”

Posted on | October 10, 2014 | 2 Comments

You’re straight, your spouse is gay: now what? Christine Grimaldi, a Chrysalis Editorial freelance reader and Washington, D.C.-based writer, examines this question through interviews with “straight spouses” who have followed their gay partners out of the closet. As wrenching as that process may be for everyone involved, there is life on the other side of the closet door.


Illustration: Aaron Tilley

After 16 years of marriage to a woman who would eventually come out as lesbian, Tom Teague made a promise to himself on a balmy October night in 2003: He would dance with every straight woman at the bar. Given the particularities of that evening, the odds were in his favor.

Teague, a reserved software development manager with a mop of white hair and a salt-and-pepper beard, was one of anywhere between 80 and 100 attendees at the annual beachside gathering in Florida for members of the Straight Spouse Network. He had arrived fresh from the memorial service for his mother, who had died of pancreatic cancer days earlier. But he sought solace from more than just her death. SSN had been his lifeline since his wife came out as a lesbian that January. More than ever, he needed to be with people who could understand him.

Click here to read more at Slate.


2 Responses to ““How Straight Spouses Cope When Their Partners Come Out””

  1. Estraven
    October 15th, 2014 @ 7:19 am

    Here is a comment, copied from Amazon, on Dr. Buxton’s first book “I came out to my husband five years before he read this book. He didn’t believe I was bisexual, but the more often I tried to talk to him about the issue, the further he would shut down. Eventually, he read this book and decided that our marriage was doomed, despite that we had been together for close to twelve years at the time. Our marriage would have been possible to salvage if he’d not read this, bought the propaganda that being married to a bisexual was a disaster, and actually attempted to communicate about the issues both of us were having.

    If you’re bi and your spouse reads this, expect to be served divorce papers.”

    Ms. Grimaldi, SSN is basically a biphobic hate group. It is truly irresponsible for you to promote them in any way.

    May 27th, 2015 @ 9:26 am

    One of my favorites!

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